Entry #27

Possible Death of Dreams?

2016-05-09 22:35:20 by moonvamp

At this point in my life, I have lost all hope in ever seeing my dreams come into fruition. I’m still trying to save up money for a car, apartment necessities for when I move, rent/bill/grocery money, etc.

The last thing I want to do is jeopardize my financial earnings by wasting them on “hobbies”.

Want to get back into voice acting? Too bad. I can’t afford a good microphone/preamp/other gear nor do I have the proper space to put foam in order to cancel out any noise.

Want to get a camera, lighting, video editing software, and other goodies to getting a show together? Not unless I want to have myself go in debt. Oh wait, I don’t even have credit.

Want to go back to college in order to attain more experience and get a job I enjoy? Ha! Loans only await me, and they probably won’t even guarantee me no charge until I got a job. Oh….and did I forget to mention I have no credit?



Even when I do get a new place to stay, I need to keep myself economically solid in order to survive. Buying items that would probably just lead to my downfall won’t do my already damaged self-confidence and esteem any good.


I can’t get anywhere if I can’t afford living expenses down the line.


Life sucks. I wish I was dead, but I’m still living to just validate other people’s happiness and not my own.


Rant over. No one will probably read this. Why am I even writing this? I don’t even know anymore.


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2016-05-10 00:13:29

I feel the same way, but you know what?

Life is worth living no matter what's happening.
Every cloud, no matter how large, has a silver lining.